Guy Mclean: Lessons from my Dad

As I write this article, it is only several days since the passing of my beloved father ‘Norm McLean’ and whilst my dear family is preparing for his funeral, I (on the heartfelt request of my dear Dad) am preparing to perform and educate at a world class Equine event in America.

Dad was always so proud of the fact that I was touching people’s hearts with my poetry and doing my utmost best to help horse lovers worldwide be better for their horses, and he simply wouldn’t have it any other way, and so, like I always have, I am trying to do what would make him proud, and I endeavour to share more of his influence on my life in these coming pages.

Also, I intend to dedicate all of my performances and demonstrations at the Horse World Expo in Harrisburg PA (in the coming days) to a man who has been a major contributor in my life and to give the audience a glimpse into the lessons learned under his guidance that had very little to do with horsemanship in its core form, but absolutely everything to do with it at the same time. 

Although Dad has ridden horses for more than fifty years, he would be the first to tell you that he was no Horseman (but he sure was a fine AFL footballer in his day) and so you might wonder how the lessons he taught me would help me get to where I am in my Horsemanship career, for although (I feel a little guilty in saying it out loud now) I used to wish that I was born the son of a famous Australian Stock Horse breeder with generations of horsemanship blood running through my veins, but from now where I sit, I couldn’t have chosen a better father or role model for what I have accomplished in my life thus far.

For Dad, first impressions were everything, always look someone in the eye, give a firm handshake, smile a smile as though it was coming straight from your heart and above all, be humble and kind. From an early age, Dad used to tell me that ‘No one will care how great you eventually become, son, they will only care how kind you were to them,’ and as countless heartfelt messages flood into our family from all over the world (who were touched by Dad) it was evident that he always practised what he preached. I have since carried that thought process into my horsemanship and have heard other fine horsemen and women across the world give such sentiments as ‘A horse will never care how much you own or how nice the car you drive is; they will only care about how you treat them’ and my own horses and every horse I lay my hands upon receive the same kind of respect and care that Dad implored me to share with my fellow man.

Dad’s actual advice on Horsemanship was very simple and straightforward, and to this very day the way I work with horses (even at the highest level of liberty and bridleless and saddleless) is the same, as the simpler and more achievable we can make the task at hand for our horses, the better.

Statements, however, like ‘Keep your hands down, your heels down and your mouth shut’ are still shared from Dad’s lips to mine when giving a lesson (though maybe not quite as blunt as that) and ‘Be nice to your horses, be safe and above all have fun,’ truly encapsulates everything I do with them, in and out of the arena, and although I sometimes yearned for guidance, these simple guidelines allowed me monumental scope to develop my own way with horses by learning from each and every moment spent with them, from the horse’s mouth, so to speak.

The only true riding lesson I can recall Dad giving me was when I was 15, and I was doing fence turns on a youngster in the round yard, and I would basically just canter round to the left, then take the right rein and turn him to the fence before cantering off on the new circle, and Dad yelled out from the rail (on his passing from one job to the next), ‘I may just be an old footballer, but I always found when I was running at a speed that wherever I looked, my body would follow, so look where you want to go and not where you’re already going and see how that works for you.’ From that simple critique, my youngster turned more fluidly with less rein required to achieve the result, and years later when I was riding all of my horses bridleless and saddleless, it was on the simple premise of ‘look where you want their feet to follow’ that was the major ingredient for success. Dad always had a great eye for finding a new solution to a problem and my horsemanship motto of ‘Finding a better way’ is a carry on of this mindset, to continually evolve and look to better our best each day. 

‘Good things only come to those who work hard for it’ has been a common gesture in our entire family tree, and the work ethic that has been passed down through to us kids from Dad is so strong that I can’t even feel comfortable sitting down and watching TV without plaiting something for one of my horsemanship tools to be sold on our booth so that I could say ‘I’m not really resting, I’m still working’, and that same work ethic is now evident in every one of my equine stars across two countries. 

Over my entire career, from the very beginning until now, Dad has been my biggest fan, as well as my biggest critic, and I am just as grateful now for one as I am for the other, and I always do my darnedest to live my life to the level (and beyond) of the extremely high bar he set. To see his broad grin at the side of arenas watching me in Australia, America and Canada was always the highlight of my day, and I would have done just about anything to make him proud, and in his final words to me he was able to share that he has always been proud of me like he has all six of his wonderful kids, and it was a blessing for us all to know that his time was coming so we could all say goodbye and I was able to write the poem that follows and read it to him so that he would know in his heart just how much he meant to me, now and for always, and I will have this videoed, to be played at his funeral so that everyone there will know, just what might have happened…

If I could have chose my Dad.

In life, we’re given what we’re given
When it comes to blood and bone
‘You can choose your friends but not your relatives’
Is a sentence that’s been thrown…

around in many conversations 
When the family quabbles start
And if I could have chose my Dad
(And this comes straight out from my heart)

I would have chosen someone heroic
With a body made of steel
Someone who laughed in the face of a challenge
Someone bold who’d refuse to kneel

I’d have chosen someone with grit
Even though we all like kind
Someone who’d press me to the fire
So that my truest gifts could shine

I would have him as my greatest critic
But also, as my greatest fan
I would strive my best to glimmer
To outshine my family clan…

Just to get a word of favour
Or a kind pat on the head
My Chosen Dad would be the man
That I would remember, ‘Everything’ he said

Each kind word would be a blanket
That would warm my heart and soul
And words of disappointment
Would drive me fiercely towards my goals… 

To be the kind of man
That would make my father proud
As his words of wisdom shared
Speak out in my mind so loud

‘No one will care how great you are
But they’ll only care how kind’
That one will stay with me forever
As I strive and push and grind

‘Riding horses isn’t difficult son
Just stay between their ears and their tail’
I’ve made a career out of that one
And it never seems to fail

Yeah, my chosen Dad would be a ripper
Everything I wanted, (some I would need)
And he would prove to me that a life well lived
Will require you to sweat and cry and bleed

‘Good things come to those who earn it’
‘Go getters score the goals’
‘You need to always be on your toes 
And not squatting on your souls’

So in a far off world where you can have your choice
Right down to the last decree
My Dad would be the very same
That calls out ‘Son’ to me

For the pieces that I wished for
For the parts that were a must
My Dad is perfectly imperfect
And the one thing he can trust…

Is that he’s made a huge impression
On each and every one
On daughter, niece and nephew
Grandchild, sister, son

So when I hear that dear old cliché
‘Well, at least you can choose your friends’
I’ll say “I could choose no better than my family”
(Even though that sometimes depends)

But what I’m trying to say my dearest Dad
Is that you’re the best I could have chose
And I’ll love you always, like I always have 
Far beyond when our eyes are closed.

Your very proud fifth son, Guy.

And that is a major lesson that I have learned throughout my life and want to share with you all here. Please, do not wait till the funeral of a loved one to share how much they meant to you and do your best to live each day like it was your last and hold your loved ones close, whether it be in your arms or in your heart, like I always will with my beloved Dad.

Guy McLean is proudly sponsored by Marsh Carney Saddlery, Priefert (USA), Susan River Homestead, Paddock Blade and CEN and is proudly the official Australian Stock Horse ambassador.

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