How Horses Help Humans in Everyday Life

with Tanja Mitton

Is your horse more than just your equine partner in your chosen equestrian field? I believe the answer is yes, absolutely. But before we dive in and explore this further, let’s go back a couple of steps.

There are people who ride horses, and there are horse people. Riding horses can be a sport, like playing tennis or going jogging with friends. Horses can also be intriguing animals like birds or reptiles. People who ride horses will find enjoyment and satisfaction in learning a new skill by interacting with horses, but it’s not in their blood. The interaction with the horse will be more superficial and often only short-lived.

Horse people, on the other hand, often have a hard time explaining to a non-horse person the deep relationship they have with their horse. It goes far beyond an equine partner or a companion on the sporting field. There is a deep connection that binds us to our horses and allows us to find peace and harmony.

So now that we have differentiated the relationships between people and horses, let’s look more deeply into how horses can help us horse people in our everyday life.

I am going to share my own experience with you and how my relationship with my horses has changed over the years.

I have been fortunate enough to make my hobby my life and turn it into my work. Being around horses has been in my blood for as long as I can remember.

My first horse, Nimrod, was my best friend. Being a teenager, I needed someone with whom I could share my secrets. We went on long rides together, bareback through the forest, my face in his mane and, more often, tears streaming down my cheeks. I always felt heard by him, never judged nor criticised. He made me feel safe and secure. Horses taught me early on that I could be myself around them and that I was enough. Something I struggled with in the human world.

In my early 20s, horses became my work. I was training and competing full-time, as well as looking after a team of 25 horses; it was full-on. Consequently, I lost the feeling of safety and security when the judgement of my training put pressure on my horses to perform in order for me to feel good enough. Their non-judgement was overridden by my need to be accepted and validated by people. I lost my deep connection with the horses and instead used them to fight my own insecurities. It took me a long time to realise what had happened.

It wasn’t until I stopped competing full-time that I could reconnect on a deeper level again.

My ego, which wanted to do well and prove myself, got in the way of listening to what the horses had to say. Instead of being myself and allowing my horses to validate me, I was pushing them to perform in a way that gave me validation from the people around me, which consequently made me feel that I was never enough.

As humans, we constantly thrive on being better, not realising that nothing is ever good enough. There is always more, and before long, we are on a never-ending spiral of pressuring ourselves.

Now, I approach my horses very differently. When I train, I say, “Let me help you,” and in return, I let them help me, too. It is a two-way conversation. I say, “Let me help you; I have some ideas that will make it easier for you,” and they say either “Thank you” or “I struggle a bit. Can we find a different way?” I say, “Sure, what do you need? Let’s find a way together.” Sometimes, they give me unexpected feedback, and my response is, “That’s interesting.” And I check what I did that made the horse respond in that way. I never see them as being wrong so that I can be right.

I know that my horses help me to be a better person. They teach me to be kind to myself, to take time, to breathe and to listen. They keep me accountable, and they tell me when I am in my head, frustrated, impatient and egotistic. But what I found is that they are also patient. There are times when I can’t be at my best, but they love me anyway. No judgement, no pressure. They simply wait and give me space to deal with what I need to deal with. When I come back to them, we simply start up where we left off. This, to me, is the most special gift; they don’t give up on me as long as I don’t give up on them.

So, how do horses help us humans in everyday life?

They show us that we are enough; we must learn to embrace that. They show us what it is like to be loved unconditionally; we must allow that.

They show us what it feels like to be grounded; we must practise that.

Horses help us to become better people because they open our eyes to see who we really are.

Tanja Mitton - Australia’s No. 1 Equestrian Success and Mindset Coach
Phone 0419 891 319, Email: admin@tanjamitton.com | www.tanjamitton.com